Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kristy Baker's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 13th, 2001
9:07 pm	I hate dumb people Well I had a good time friday at my lil 60 ppl get together, minus the excessive vomitting and the fucking police everything was good. I know of a cross eyed nasty anorexic bitch that is going to get jumped for that one, all fingers pointed at her, and even if it wasn't her she still deserves a beat down, for being a dumb bitch, and if your reading cross eyed brat, quit calling richard, your pathetic! We dont like you, go slit your wrists! ahahaha Current Mood: aggravated (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 1st, 2001
4:20 am	Holy shit I had more issues that days of our lives, or thought I did. well I was just reading old journals to see where I was at compared to now, and holy shit. I think I thought I was gonna die. And how repetitive and annoying my cycles were. It was insaine to read... anyways I still dont understand the world but I am damn glad I am done feeling sorry for myself and that I grew some balls with brett and finally moved on... jesus that was ridiculous. (Comment on this)
3:30 am	Addiction needs a passifier, it has become my mind and my soul Wow coming down is a bitch. I have so many different thoughts racing thro my head right now it is hard to expell them all while still making sence. I really dont understand life. You go through so many crucibles and then to do what? No one knows. No one knows what this "afterlife" holds for them. People base their beliefs and the actions they take in living there lives simply on faith. Doesnt their faith ever wear thin, or is that only mine? Are people truly ever happy or are the ones who seem to be just settling for less than those who are miserable? What is true happiness? Is it something that you can control or is it mearly fate? Are good people awarded happiness and the bad ones are here to suffer? Or is this just hell? Are all the drugs, and hatred, and ignorence, and evil just demonic presences that the weak ones cave to? Who chooses the homeless herion addicts, or the person who never knows who they really are long enough to find a taste or happiness? What about the victims of hate crimes? Is that their destiny? Why? Who picks who will be loved by all and who will be despised and who will go unnoticed for the majority of their life? Why is their all the pain, and the misery for so many people? I just dont understand. Am I too young, too close minded, or am I the only one who sees things the way I do? Am I the only one who looks through as deep in everything as possible and trys to find where the truth lies? People finally become established and happy but just long enough until a change occurs and they are forced to start over again while the past lingers in their mind, taughnting them with all they lost. I just dont understand. What is the right thing for me to do? I really want to know. I have a fairly good guess that my current lifestyle probably isnt the best one, but what is right? Is a good person a person who is caring and loving and tries their best to be good to everyone, or is a good person one who abstains from all evil, but is heartless towards others? I dont know, I have so many questions that are unawnsered. The thing I do know is that life is short and I am trying to make the best of mine. I am thankful for everything I have in my life, all the wonderful people, and all my other blessings. I just hope I am doing alright. Sometimes I am not so sure.. well that was some serious blabbing, and thinking about all this gives me a vile feeling, so I'd rather live day to day and not wonder... but just let things fall how they should, they will anyway, regardless. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Some movie on the tv (Comment on this)
Monday, November 26th, 2001
6:26 pm	Ex boyfriends make me want to tear my hair out! Well I havent wrote in here in a while, but now hmm I guess I am. Well brett is a freak and he hacked into like 3 of my emails and that is scary. I didnt really care about the first one I found out about but then when I discovered that he hacked into my livejournal email that is a lil embarrassing. There were emails in there from a bunch of different ppl and just a lot of information that he didnt need to know. It is embarrassing and I want to strangle him. But anyways thats why he is an ex. I dont have to worry about his crazy ass anymore. Hehehe. Anyways I am really tired and I need to talk on the phone because I have like 2000 things to say. This year is going by so fast. I cannot believe. Time has been flying so fast.... yes it has. Well anyways I think that everything in my life is just peechy right now... :) And I think I am going to stop typing now because I have nothing else or any importance to say. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Some show about mushrooms on tv. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 7th, 2001
8:06 pm	Holy Shit I Haven't wrote in this for 4 months! Hmm well it has been a while... things are still the same from the last entry I wrote tho. Well from the most part. I am still with ryan. We broke up again for a while but he asked me back out and promised to be different. He was for a while but it seems like he is slipping back into his old self more and more everyday. I don't know I am just letting things cool down right now. I don't really know if I am going to stay with him tho. BIG SURPRISE! I am still in love with brett. we were like best friends for a while and he would call me everyday and we would see eachother almost everyday but then..... we got into it again, and yea... so we are on the rocks right now too, but I am really not worried about any of this stuff cuz it is all drama that wont matter..... richard and sasha are still my best friends of coarse 3 boos for life! :) lol well bye Current Mood: cold Current Music: The TV (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 15th, 2001
1:15 am	Shes a freak........ I don't know..hmm I am tired but wired b-c I am thinking about what ryan is going to do about tonights lil encounter where his lil "gary" friend looked like he was about to jump thro my window and knock my ass out just for driving down a public street... but I am an obsessive stalker and that is a problem so I prolly deserve to have my ass knocked out anyways.. why do I do strange things to try to scare ppl away.. ? I don't understand myself..everything was fine with me and ryan actually I was like in control and now.. hmm well I look like a pathetic dumb ass again and I hate it... but what can I say? I need to stop dating guys until I get some will power so I am not a stalker.. I am tired of fucking myself over and If I have to hear one more lecture from him I am throwing myself over a brige and that is a promise... so yess... I want to sleep why am I so worried about all of this? Aghhh I drive myself and everyone around me up a wall. Today I was told that I am manipulative.. I do not want to be so I will work on that.. I hate when ppl manipulate me so I wouldn't want to put anyone else thro that... and why the hell am I so concearned about everyone in longview today? I feel really sad when I think about it for some reason.. I hope everyone is alright... I normally don't get stuck on thinking about them.. but I also have never gone 2 or 3 weeks without talking to any of them... I think that I am going to find something to keep me really busy so I don't have so much time to stress myself out so much and the ppl around me cuz it is getting old real fast and I can since it.. so yess... ahh I have so manythings to say right now and not enough energy to say any of them...I just want to crawl under a rock for a few weeks and get my head together.. and this thing with brittany is really staring to get me... what the hell is up with it all.. she thinks all of these things that I did that I didn't do but she wont listen to me long enough to believe me, but I guess that is not my problem. I know I am right and that I am innocent of whatever is being put on me and if I am the only one that agrees with that so be it... at least I know... so I guess it doesn't matter if anyone else does... cuz I am going to crawl my ass under a rock and never be seen again anyways.. and then there will still prolly be some kinda drama about me and ppl will be like oh yea I guess she was right cuz we haven;t seen her in years and we are still causing shit with her.. I know that is an over exageration but that is how I feel so yea... anyways I am getting myself all pissed off at the world so I better stop..! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 12th, 2001
11:16 pm	Wal- Mart............... hey this is richard im at kristy we are really giddy like catholic school children huh kristy....................... richard is mean to me and when he touches me he thinks aboutt himself.ONLINE SOMETIMES DO I DO THAT OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KRISTY STOP BIGHTING ME I FEEL LIKE WE ARE HIGH! DAVID GO AWAY! Me and richard are having wild sexx and my mother can hear it and she wants to join in with us and I need some ass from rayn.ME TOO SAYS RICHIE THE 3RD BILLIE GOAT GRUFF................WHAT IM THINKING IS THAT IM GOING TO GET HIT BY LOVE OF THE GAME TOMMOROW........... bY DAVID? Hmm I don't know................ bring your money and we will see but we really should not have took all 40 off those hits of acid.yeah kristi ur write we shouldnt have so stay away fools............WOW DOES RIYAN HAVE A BIG WIENER? I THINK MY NAME WILL BE SPELLED RITCHIE FROM NOW ON?!? Ryan has the 2nd nices penis I have ever seen... it is nice and thick but still long enough for fun times in the back seat of that car..dont ever have sex infront of me again kristy!!!!!!!!!!! I will try but it is just so much more hot when there is an audience as you could tell.. ryan is normally not a 30 second man.well here is any idea tommorow me u david sasha and isaiah in a 5 some????? Umm I don't do black ppl.yeah me either dumb niggas so how about just me u and david???? Hmm we might be able to arrange that as long as ryan can go in on it 2.umm ok ryan and david and me and you???? Okay all 3 of you and just me.. it might be nice! k goodnight.. yea good night. Current Mood: sick Current Music: "walk this way" areosmith (6 Comments |Comment on this)
12:57 pm	WHere oh where could it be? I hate it when I don't know where my period is or if I am just being paranoid or if it really is late and I just hate it... I know it will come tho because I have decided that I defiently do not need to be pregnant right now... I need to stop being a slut.. that I do know. Well I am not exaclty sleeping around but ryan and I are not together anymore so he should not be getting the benefits... what is wrong with me?! Anyways I am so bored... I am waiting for caite to call me back I think that we are going swimming and that sounds fun right now b-c I do not want to be sitting here anymore. I think that richard and sasha need to stop going to their dads houses so we can hang out and keep eachother entertained.. which is what we do best. I wonder what ambrosia is doing right now? She is prolly is massive amounts of trouble! :( Anyways... yessssss I don't know what else to say anymore so I am gtg and do my hair or something that will make me interested in this day! So bye! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 11th, 2001
10:01 am	hmm hmm hmm I think I am going to choke to death.. there seems to be something lodged deeply in my throat.. hmm... I guess that Ryan and I are "dating" again.. he has decided that he misses me... hmm. It is so strange how ppl can feel so adimitt about a certain thing and then totally do something completly different about it.. oh well... well I guess I am gtg now being as ambrosia has finally woke from the dead.. so bye! Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: That one song, hey aint that brandy's brother?! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 4th, 2001
1:49 am	Eww child things are gonna get easier... Well these past few days have been pretty bad. I wanted to get high so bad today I could smell all those chemicals oozing out of my skin already... but I didn't. I miss him. I hate it that I do tho. I hate talking about it too. No one wants to hear it.. and I don't rather enjoy thinking of it either... so yea. Tommarrow is the 4th. Sasha can't go to the fort.. I don't know if richard knows that. Oh well everything will work out. Yea it will. Anyways.. I am tired and I miss ryan too much for my own good so I am gtg to bed and sleep. I met a nice guy today... he has his name on his credit card and not on his arm but all I could think about and talk about was that danmorian! Ehh I hate breaking up! Well later (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 2nd, 2001
7:36 am	Perma Tweak Hmm well I didn't sleep last night. I don't know why.. it is kinda strange. My mom is thinking that I am using drugs now that I am clean but when I wasn't so clean she didn't suspect a thing... that boggles my mind... anyways I am really bored and yea! I am kinda excited for today me and sasha and lucas are going to go up to longview for the little lake thingy and yea I hope that we have fun but you know 2 plus 2 does equal four! So ya know.! No that is taking my lil supersticions too far and I think that I am also perma fry too cuz I cannot spell anything these days.. I used to be sooo smart. Oh well I am sure that I will earn back some new brain cells and be just where I was at, sometime soon here. Yea and Richard when are u coming home? I left a message for you on beckys cell phone! I miss you boo boo bear! So come home! Anyways I am thinking I am going to go and "hop" my ass in the shower! SO late boos! Current Mood: awake Current Music: Little house on the prarie on tv, this shit makes me vom! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 1st, 2001
5:22 pm	Oh myyyyyyyyyyyy Well.... hmm these pasta two days have been the worst of my life, well prolly not the worst which is sad but definetly one of them... and I am so tramatized I don't know what to say. I am home now and I am happier. I would be a lot better if someone would call me so I could leave. I have like no ones numbers where they are. I really want richard and or sasha here or I want to go to richards dads. I don't ever want to think about, ryan, my sister, the police, the hospital, a bottle, or the contents inside of a bottle again. I never had these problems when I was a crankqueen... but I had other ones.. so clean, sober, single and living in vancouver as apposed to longview are the only ways for me to go. I really need to go and get my nails fixed. I bit them all off in the fucking hospital which I am never entering again. I would have rather been in jail. So if that kind of thing ever happends to me again then I am just going to make them take me to jail and if the police try to take me to the hospital first I will just knock one of them the fuck out so they wont, they will lock my ass up! Anywho it is still a mystery who called those fuckers... I didn;t, april didn;t, maria didn't, wid didn't, and neither did either of the ryans, or the danmoore crew... hmmm strange.. anyways.. I talked to ryan and it is officially over so yes.. I am not really sure who the best one was in this relationship and who ditched out the shit, or who was too good for who but we definetly don't work out. I thought it was because I was too good for him, but hey I have just as many issues... but I do have my name on my credit card rather than my arm! Haha Anyways I have got to go before I go nuts sitting here alone! I never want to be alone again! I love you guys! And a special thanks to you wid for ebing the only one who was really there for me and if it weren't for the convo we had, I would have flew off the deep end and this time I know I would have got so lost I would have never found my way back! So I love you so much and you are right, you are all the b-f I deserve. I was the happiest I have ever been in my life when I was clean, had no b-f and was friends with you, so thank you and I love you much! And sasha you should thank god you were not in this one! oh my! I love ya too tho! Current Mood: blah Current Music: Baby got back! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
1:38 am	Hiiii Well I want to appologize to my friends. To the people who have been here for me when no one else was and who have mad me laugh when I wanted ot die and to whom I would be no where without. I am sorry for the way that things have been going. I am a rotten grape fruit when it comes to relationships and ebing in them. I spaz all out and don't know what to do and how to act. That is no excuse tho. These next few days are going to be no Ryan because I don't like who I am when I am with him and if I cannot figure out how to be with him and still be a good friend..... it aint no lie baby bye bye bye....! Yea things havn't exaclty been whine and roses with us lately anyways and I love my friends and they come first! So I am sorry these past few days have been rocky but they are over and I am back if you all will take me! I love you all and noo to those of you who ask I am not mad, I have no reason to be, you all are sent straight from above my lil angels in disgiuse! And I just jacked that word up! So I love you and we need to do some hangin out! Wid and sasha you are my boo boo bears and thanks for putting up with my total bull shit which is exactly what it was! I loooooooveeeeeeeee you! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 17th, 2001
12:20 am	Uh huh Well I like Ryan a lot.... more and more everyday... why? Ehh I dunno. We had a huge fat talk yesterday and it made things better. I really miss him tho because I didn't get to see him or talk to him today! I don't know why... he said he was going to call and we were gonna hang out but then he didn't! Its cool tho. He just found out his uncle has cancer so maybe something came up! Well gtg! I miss Richard! I wish I was up in reno with him right now! I love ya boo boo bear! (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
9:51 pm	No more fighting.................................ahhh Well I have been fighting! I have fought with ryan for the past 4 days, my mom for the past week and been an ass to everyone else for too long. I am sorry! I am tired of it... ahhh I don't know what to do anymore. I like the single life I decided! I don't really have to worry about other people! Well except my friends and stuff but that is a given! Well I am talking to Brett and then I am headed to bed I think! So later! Current Mood: confused Current Music: The tv and Bretts uh oh thing on icq when he messages... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
8:57 am	God must have spent a lil more time on you..... I am in a good mood.... I didn't sleep for more than like 4 hours last night but it was alright! I just wasn't tired! So yea.. I am goin to go see ryan today (because he asked me to and I am a wimp) and I hope everything goes well or I will be sad! I want to go outside and do something! It is nice although it is only like 9 am! But hey no big deal! I cleaned my car for two hours today... I started at like 5;30 and if it ever gets that dirty again I am going to freak out! That is the only one I have so I suppose I should start taking care of it ya know?! Well anyways I am gtg and get primped! Current Mood: awake Current Music: NSYNC- Its a boy band hour! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
10:39 pm	UHHHHH bad day! Today was the first BAD day that I have had in a while. Ryan and I fought ALL day and my mom was a bitch and I think I made richard mad and I was really mean to all the people that I love because I was too stressed and I didn't handle it right and now I feel really bad! But Ryan called me and appologized and we are going to a baseball game tommarrow, so much for his "space"! If he is a dick I am going to slit my throat! I laughed at him when he asked me to go! It is sad! I miss him tho! We are prolly not going to work out! But hey! WHo knows! Later! I love you Richard I am sorry! Kristy (Comment on this)
Monday, June 11th, 2001
10:11 pm	Drama unfolding Oh hello! I am in a good mood today me and Ryan had little retarded spats all day long but that is ok, we worked it out. I don't think it is a very good thing to fight within the first three days of a relationship, but I guess they are all different... so yea. I am really worried what people are thinking and talking about me. I know that I am not hiding our realtionship but I just don't want loads of drama. I don't really feel like people understand the connections that we have with eachother and the things that we see in eachother. I think he is a great person and that he tries really hard and has made a ton of progress and that is more than a lot pf people can say. Sure he has been in bad places but the fact that he came out of them and has stayed out says a lot... so yea... I dunno. I don't really think that there is anything wrong with trying things out and at least If things don't work out we will always be friends because we understand eachother... although I can't stand it when he is a dick, but hey aren't all men at times? Well anyways I am gtg... so later boos who are reading! Current Mood: Butterflies Current Music: Tell me its real- kc and jojo (Comment on this)
3:44 am	Ryan Oh shit has this been one wierd weekend! Oh my... friday was really fun me and sash went clubbing and saturday we went to p-town and I met Ryan who is now myu boyfriend?! Yea he stayed the night saturday and we talked all night and stuff and he made me breakfast and then we hung out all day and we are gonna do something tomarrow. I just think that he is really down to earth and sweet and exaclty what I don't need right now in so many ways... but I care about him and I don't wanto to hurt him, so I am in this and I will just have to be the best I can be and do the best things I can... yea so anyways I am straight up trippin right now.. I really feel like someone slipped me some acid or something and it is really scary! Well I gtg I am too scared to be sittin up in here right now! Current Mood: scared Current Music: Nothing (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 9th, 2001
11:43 am	HEHEHEHEHEHE Hi! Today is a good day so far! I am excited for tonight sasha and I are gonna go to the club! It will be fun! I feel bad right now! Someone sent me a message on aim that said they had to go and I thought it was Richard so I stopped checking my messages and it wasn't him and he was talking to me and now he thinks I was ignoring him! Richard if you are reading this I wasn't and I didn't mean to! Okay well anyways,...... I had a bunch of encounters with Brett last night and it was kinda fun! I miss him! Well anyways I have to go and call Richard and tell him that I love him! Later Current Mood: distressed Current Music: The sound of Cameron Diaz acting like an ass (Comment on this)